


Four Seasons Total Landscaping: Destiel AU

by plethodon_cinereus



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 2020 election - Freeform, Crack, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel Becoming Canon On 5 November 2020 (Supernatural), Fantasy Island Adult Bookstore (US Political RPF), Four Seasons Total Landscaping, Four Seasons Total Landscaping (US Political RPF), I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, M/M, No Smut, November 5th, Season 15, US Politics - Freeform, crackfic, donald trump - Freeform, late to the party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:42:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27924724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plethodon_cinereus/pseuds/plethodon_cinereus
Summary: Dean Winchester, employed at Four Seasons Total Landscaping, has been close (very close) friends with Cas, the surprisingly cool owner of Fantasy Island Adult Bookstore. When Dean's boss plays a prank on a powerful politician who's as evil as he is stupid, things get...interesting
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Destiel
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i have no idea where i am going with this

It started as a normal enough day. Dean rolled up to work blasting the local classic rock station [[1](%E2%80%9C#note1%E2%80%9D)] right around the same time as his coworker, Claire. Dean usually isn’t a fan of dogs but Claire’s dog Miracle is a constant presence at the shop, so he gets an exception. He gave Miracle a pat on the head and made his way into the garage. The only thing out of place was that the trucks were all inside instead of the usual parking spaces.  
“Don’t suppose you know what we’re doing today?” Claire asked him. Dean shrugged. They were told to come into work on Saturday for some sort of special request project that absolutely had to be done before Monday. Dean noticed the porn shop across the street, Fantasy Island Adult Bookstore, was open too.  
He’d been close friends with the guy who owned it for years, after an interesting encounter when he went in to buy supplies to play a prank on his brother. The owner, Cas, was surprisingly cool, if a little dorky. At first they’d bonded over shared interests in occult lore and old western movies, but over time it grew into something deeper. The two men had been through a lot together, Cas had helped Dean get through a pretty rough breakup and seen him more vulnerable than just about anyone. Similarly, Dean was there when Cas’s family disowned him and cut all contact after he came out. Though there had been good times too, like their endless road trip and late night movie marathons. Dean pulled out his phone to ask Cas why in the hell his porn shop was open at 7am on a Saturday.  
Dean and Claire joined their small crew standing in a group in the garage waiting for their boss to show up. Gabe was a decent guy and a pretty great boss, but perpetually late. Not that anyone cared, they got paid by the hour. Eventually, Gabe’s car rolled up and he sauntered into the garage.  
“Um, what are you wearing?” another employee, Jody, scoffed. It was a valid question, the guy was wearing bright pink leggings that left NOTHING to the imagination with a hand painted black t-shirt loudly proclaiming that “Republicans Have Stinky Butthole Energy”.  
Gabe grinned, that trademark grin of a troublemaking kid, and proclaimed that “Today, dear children, we are going down in history.”  
“Really,” Claire raised an eyebrow.  
“Oh yeah!” Gabe began telling a convoluted story of how he received a call from a politician asking to book the “four seasons” for a press conference. Thinking it had to be a prank, Gabe played along and neglected to mention that the name of his business was, in fact, Four Seasons Total Landscaping and not affiliated with the Four Seasons Hotel in any way. But apparently, he’d gotten another call later confirming that Donald J Trump and his squad of loyal MAGAts would be attending a press conference in….Gabe’s parking lot.  
After he finished explaining, the crew was silent for about five seconds before dissolving into choking laughter. Claire doubled over laughing so hard she was practically on the floor. Jody had tears in her eyes and gave Gabe a round of applause, joined by Garth and Crowley. Dean grinned and, when no one was looking, snuck out of the shop to go tell Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 the good one, not the one that got turned into “Trump Country” months ago that played nothing but bootlicker country music interspersed with a truly awful Donald Trump impersonator (Yes this is a real radio station in Florida)  [ [return to text](%E2%80%9C#return1%E2%80%9D) ]


	2. Chapter 2

Cas was hanging out in the back of his shop not thinking there was any chance a customer would wander in. Not like there were many to begin with in the first place, like who visited a real life porn shop anyways? And during a pandemic? Yeah, right. These days he stayed open just to pretend to have something to do. His phone was dead, so he hadn’t seen Dean’s text earlier, and was pretty surprised when the man walked through the front door.  
Cas peered around the corner, thinking Dean couldn’t see him, to take in a few moments of unabashed staring. Dean was wearing his usual work outfit: a flannel and t-shirt, jean shorts, and boots.. [[1](%E2%80%9C#note2%E2%80%9D)] He had a machete strapped to his belt and was shaking his head laughing.  
“Cas? You there? Buddy, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,” Dean called into the seemingly empty shop.  
“Hello, Dean,” Cas said as he stepped around the corner. “What are you doing here?”  
“I’m working today, but I just had to come over and tell you about this shit Gabe pulled.”  
Cas nodded. “Oh, yes, the press conference? I’m aware of it. Gabriel thought it appropriate to warn the other businesses of the incoming disaster. Though it looks like it’s just us, not even Billie is here today,” Cas shrugged in the direction of the crematorium across the street.  
Dean smiled and stepped a bit closer to Cas. “So you decided to come watch the show?”  
Cas blushed. “Yes. I’m not normally a fan of Gabriel’s…antics…but this seemed worth it. Are you working today or…” he trailed off.  
“Not sure,” Dean replied, “Gabe called us in for some special project but he was later than usual showing up, so who knows. He may have just wanted to show off his prank.”  
Cas smirked, “So you ducked out of work to come say hi to me?” His tone of voice was almost flirtatious, or at least as flirtatious as someone like Cas could get.  
“Well…yeah,” Dean backtracked. “I mean, I had to let you know. In case, whatever. Bad for business and all that.”  
“On the contrary I think it may be good for business. It’s not every day a demagogue has a public breakdown in front of your little locally-owned porn shop.”  
“-or landscaping company,” Dean added with a laugh.  
“You should get back to work,” Cas stated.  
“Yeah, they’ve probably noticed I’m gone by now. I’ll stop by on my break, though?”  
“Looking forward to it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 Jorts and boots for life


	3. Chapter 3

.........I realize I may have forgotten that Sam Winchester existed  
I’ll probably add him in at some point. But this is MY crackfic and I choose to have my random favorite side characters as a priority.........


End file.
